Asking for a Friend

“Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love.” — Revelation 2:4

I need your advice. I normally write a devotion every week, but today I am seeking advice for a friend.

I have a friend who fell in love with a girl. He went out to a bar one night as the designated driver. He was just there to make sure his buddies got home safe. A girl approached him at the bar and they started talking. One thing led to another and they “hit it off”. However, she was actually “working” the bar to make extra money to pay for college. My friend pushed past this and a relationship developed. Eventually they got married and all was well.

They had three kids together and were living a seemingly wonderful domestic life. However, it was actually pretty strained. She missed the excitement of her early years. She felt she was missing out. That she had settled to live a boring life. She reconnected with a former boyfriend via social media. They began talking and it wasn’t long before it become more romantic in nature. One day she left her family and disappeared.

My friend searched for her and discovered she had run off to Albuquerque to be with her former boyfriend. Unwilling to give up on the relationship he began to reach out to her. He eventually left everything to go to Albuquerque to try and win her back. He connected with her and in time won her over. She was finally willing to come back home.

It turned out her “boyfriend” was more of a pimp. He claimed she owed him a small fortune in debt she had to work off. He threatened both of them if they tried to leave without paying the debt. My friend realized she had been thrust back in to her old ways of “working” for a living. Yet, he still utilized all his life’s savings to pay off the debt so they could leave without incident.

She followed him home. They began working through building a new future with their children. Even now, after all the love, forgiveness, acceptance and grace my friend had showed her, she still longs for a more exciting life.

My friend shared this story with me and asked me what I would do? Honestly, I’m struggling with my response.

I am not violating any confidence in sharing this story with you. It is a somewhat modern paraphrase of the Biblical book of Hosea. My friend is Hosea (or God). His wife is Gomer (or Israel or MYSELF).

I’m struggling with my response because the friend I’m asking for is me. This is my story. Whether it be lust, money, pride, fame, position or any of a horde of other indiscretions, I often find myself as Gomer longing for a life apart from my great Love; Christ. They always draw me away into a life of debt and debasement. Yet, I’m drawn to them. I secretly seek them out. Maybe you, my friend, do too.

How quickly I forget the love of my Lord! How easily I dismiss the forgiveness, acceptance and grace of the one who seeks me out no matter what dark hole I’ve wandered into trying to find fulfillment. How simply I write off the debt He has paid for me. How ignorant I am to dismiss the earnest love of my Savior.

How easy my heart, my eyes and my emotions wander! What is Gomer to do? What am I to do? What is my friend to do?

“Turn to Me with all your heart … Return to the Lord your God, For He is gracious and merciful, Slow to anger, and of great kindness; And He relents from doing harm.” (Joel 2:12-13)

God’s grace abounds to all who will receive it! What better advice could you give than to return? Asking for a friend.

© 2025 Warren Martin. All rights Reserved.

Did You Have a Good Day?

“. . . draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water.” — Hebrews 10:22 

Kendra, a five-year-old girl my wife and I kept after school, jumped into the back of the van. She was all smiles. She did not have a care in the world. She was out of school. It was a beautiful spring day, and she was ready to play.

As we started pulling out of the parking lot, I looked at her in the rear view mirror. I asked her, “Did you have a good day?” Immediately the smile was gone. It was replaced by a look of confusion. I thought maybe she didn’t understand me, so I asked again. “Did you have a good day?” This time she answered without hesitation, “I don’t know! I haven’t looked at my folder yet.”

The folder is a form of discipline used by the school our children attend. Each child has a folder. If a child forgets their homework, they get their folder signed. If they do something wrong, they get their folder signed. The first time is a warning. The second signing earns them a 15 minute time-out. The third a 30 minute time-out. The fourth signing earns them a free trip to the principal’s office. It is a vacation they didn’t want to take. Every day they bring the folder home. To Kendra, and I am sure many of the children at the school, a good day is determined by whether or not their folder was signed.

I was amused by Kendra’s response. I mean it was obvious by the pep in her walk and the smile on her face that she was having a wonderful day. Yet, she couldn’t say so. Her day was not determined by what she knew to be true, it was determined by what someone else thought.

It seems silly, but most adults live each day the same way. We may not carry around a literal folder, but we carry around many mental folders. We have one for work, one for home and one for our social events. We have a mental folder for everything we do, and we are always checking them to see how our day is going.

Your boss scowls at you – bad day. Your boss gives you a pat on the back – good day.

Your children are embarrassed by you – bad day. Your children think you are a hero – good day.

Your friends are too busy for you – bad day. Your friends can’t wait to get together with you – good day.

Your spouse doesn’t say a word to you – really bad day. Your spouse wakes you up with a kiss – really good day.

Lest we forget: You give in to the same temptation you have fallen for over and over again – bad day. You overcome the temptation – good day.

In the end, we are just like little Kendra. As our day comes to a close, we look back through all our mental folders and try to determine whether or not we had a good day. The problem is that most of the things we keep folders on are out of our control. We cannot control how our boss, friends or even our spouse act or react from day to day. Have you ever heard the phrase, “an emotional roller-coaster”? We always feel like we are on an emotional roller-coaster. Why? Because we allow our circumstance to decide who we are and how we feel.

God knows that every folder we keep will always end up with way too many signatures in it. Take the area of your life where you have the strongest performance, and you will still fall drastically short of perfection. God knows that if we focus on our own performance, not only will we have a bad day, we will have a bad life, so God came up with a better plan.

He took all of our folders and gave them to His Son. All our signed folders earned Jesus a trip to the cross. When He died, our folders died. They were not wiped clean and then handed back to us to try again. They were gone. And in their place, God gave us His Son’s folder in the form of the indwelling Christ. We carry with us the folder of the Perfect Child. It has our name on it. It is who we are!

The question is: what folder are you trying to look at? The Deceiver loves to dig up the memories of those old folders. He loves to wave them in front of our face and say, “Look how bad you are!” All too often we fall for it. We sulk in the shadows and mumble through our bad days. Then one day we look up and realize that we have been sulking and mumbling our entire lives.

I have written many times about how God sees us. The Bible says we are perfect and holy in His sight. We are righteous, accepted, loved, and forgiven. Yet this doesn’t mean much if you are looking at those old folders and sulking in the shadows, hiding from God and hoping He doesn’t come looking for you. This is the trap we fall into. It is in the shadows that we allow our circumstances to define who we are and how we feel.

God wants us out of the shadows. That is why Hebrews 10:22 encourages us to “draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water.” God wants us to stand before Him with full assurance of faith. He also wants us to go through each day with the same assurance. What is the assurance? It is not that you can do better. Our assurance is the indwelling Christ. Our assurance is that when God looks at us, He sees the folder of Christ. Are you living under this assurance?

I am what I am because the Great I Am said I am! That’s a great day! There are going to be days filled with bad circumstances. Are you going to allow the bad circumstances to control how you act? Or are you going to allow the indwelling Christ to act through you in those circumstances? Focus on who the Bible says you are. Trust the indwelling Christ to live through you. Go forward with assurance and confidence in Christ. Have a great day!

© 2025 Warren Martin. All rights Reserved.

Safety Coffin Fallacy

Dying request of George Washington: “Have me decently buried, but do not let my body be put into a vault in less than two days after I am dead.” 

In the 1700s and 1800s, fear of premature death was a real phobia among people. Medicine was definitely not an exact science and people feared being buried alive. Thought to be dead only to resuscitate after being boxed and planted, what could be worse?

During this period numerous patents exist for safety coffins: coffins equipped with bells, whistles, flags, breathing tubes, etc. for just such a situation. Although most historical sources state there is no evidence anyone was ever buried utilizing a safety coffin, many designs were created and sold.

Life and death have always consumed the thoughts of people. What is life? What is death? What happens? How do we know?

Unfortunately, for most this is simply a conversation about the body. Even more unfortunate is how many people see Christianity as a safety coffin for when the body gives out. They live as though in that moment they can ring the bell and God will take over. Like they are saying, “Okay, Lord, I’m done. You can have me now.” And a bell rings and another angel gets his wings. That view of Christianity is a fallacy.

Paul writes to the Ephesians, “And you He made alive, who were dead in trespasses and sins.” (Ephesians 2:1) Life and death have nothing to do with the body. When it comes to Christianity, it is about the spirit. It is about being brought to life from spiritual death.

Paul also wrote, “For none of us lives to himself, and no one dies to himself. For if we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. Therefore, whether we live or die, we are the Lord’s.” (Romans 14:7-8) Paul is saying that when it comes to the life of the body, it is irrelevant. There is a YOU that exists beyond the body. If the body is alive or dead, it doesn’t change YOU—the true spiritual YOU. And as a Christian, YOU belong to the Lord.

Paul is emphasizing his point of looking past the physical world and opening your heart and mind to the spiritual. The very point he made in Romans 12:1-2, “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God."

It is about freedom from the physical world. Freedom from sin. Freedom from anxiety. Freedom from the very things bogging us down, keeping us up at night and overwhelming our minds. “Now the Lord is the Spirit; and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.” (2 Corinthians 3:17)

But we often have to admit, “I don’t see this freedom in my life!” Paul continues in 2 Corinthians 3:18, “But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.” In other words, we can only begin to experience this freedom when we stop looking at ourselves and our world, and start looking at our Lord and Savior “as in a mirror” of who we truly are in this world and beyond it.

That is the true YOU! The spiritual YOU! The eternal You! And YOU belong to the Lord!

© 2025 Warren Martin. All rights Reserved.

Drop the Hammer!

By Warren Martin

“As iron sharpens iron,
So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.”
— Proverbs 27:17

In the early days of the oil industry, drilling was primarily accomplished by cable-drilling rigs. Drilling tools were huge steel beams in varying sizes and tips. Steam engines would power a walking beam to raise the drilling tool and drop it into the well to make more hole. Each time the tool would drop, the cable would release slightly allowing the tool to slowly turn in a circle hitting each stroke with a new angle.

The blunt force of each drop took a toll on the drilling tool. Over time, it would dull and begin to flatten out the tool. Ever so often the crew would have to remove the tool for sharpening.

On the drilling floor was a blacksmiths furnace. The tool would be placed in the furnace and heated until it glowed bright. Then, like working metal into a horseshoe, the tool would be hammered back into shape and sharpened. This kept the tool sharp. It also protected the integrity of the hole and kept it from widening as you went further down.

The reshaping tools were primarily a hammer and a size guide. The hammer to shape, and size guide to return the tool to the same caliber circumference.

Proverbs 27:17 is among the most quoted verses from the Bible, but many people do not understand what it means. Iron can’t sharpen iron unless there is a clash of the two metals. As in the hammer striking the drilling tool to reshape and sharpen it.

This is the picture being communicated by the proverb. It is not just about having good friends who will support you. It is about having authentic friends who will support and challenge you. Friends who desire to see you become sharper and better. And friends who use the Holy Bible as their sizing guide.

We all need friends like this. And we need to be friends of this nature to others. It is not easy, especially in today’s world where people tend to only surround themselves with people who agree with them. Conflict and being challenged is difficult. Yet, that is the very thing that sharpens us and helps us grow. It is where our strength and integrity are reshaped, sharpened and sized by the true guide—God’s Word. We need friends who are willing to drop the hammer on us, challenge us and do so from the foundation of scripture.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 reads in part, “Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. …Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”

This passage shows why having good friends and being a good friend is important. It enables us to stand more securely in our faith. But the key is that last line where the two become three. Great friendships are a bond between two individuals established by faith in Jesus Christ. That is where the hammer is dropped, iron meets iron and true sharpening begins.

Ask yourself today; What kind of friend am I to others? And what friends do I allow to reshape my life? Are they doing so according to the sizing guide of God’s Word? Do I need to make some changes in this area of my life?

© 2025 Warren Martin. All rights Reserved.

Not You!

“Likewise, exhort the young men to be sober-minded, in all things showing yourself to be a pattern of good works; in doctrine showing integrity, reverence, incorruptibility, sound speech that cannot be condemned, that one who is an opponent may be ashamed, having nothing evil to say of you.” — Titus 2:6-8

In the movie The Great Debaters (Washington, D. 2007. MGM), the debate team witnesses a horrific lynching in route to a debate. In response, team member, Henry Lowe goes on a wanton drinking binge and comes back to the apartment plastered. He gets into a fight, with his fellow team member, James Farmer Jr. where he shares with him the “facts of life” in the Jim Crow South. James breaks down and responds, “So it doesn’t matter how good we are, does it? …This is all useless. …We’re just a bunch of Negroes debating each other on subjects we all agree on.”

Henry recoils at the statement with, ”No, no, no, James, don’t talk like that, all right.”

James: “Why not?”

“Because you can’t,” Henry insists, “Not you.”

James, the alternate and best researcher for the team, also had the moral clarity the rest of the team lacked. Despite Henry’s wanton night out, he couldn’t stomach James faltering. James was everything good Henry hoped for his people. James goes on to give the closing debate argument that wins the nationally broadcasted debate with Harvard (in reality it was with USC).

The movie is one of my favorites, but this scene rarely gets mentioned. However, it shows the type of person we are called to be in the world. We are to be the one others look to as an anchor, the “not you” in their lives.

Titus 2:6-8 exhorts us to be “in all things showing yourself to be a pattern of good works; in doctrine showing integrity, reverence, incorruptibility, sound speech that cannot be condemned…”. We are to be the person others can look towards for hope and inspiration. Not out of our own power or ability, but as the book of Titus continues, “For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men, teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly in the present age, …” (v. 11-12).

God’s desire is to work through our lives to teach us and work through us to be His light in the world. We are called to be the moral guideposts for those around us. We are called to be an inspiration and beacon of hope. Not out of our own power, but by the grace of God teaching us and working through our lives.

However, we often get discouraged, selfish, depressed, angry and on it goes. Name the emotion. Wherever you are on the emotional rollercoaster of life, God desires to work through you today. Not just for your own good, but for the good of all those you love and impact in life.

I know you may be dealing with some of those negative emotions right now. I’m here today to tell you, you can’t think like that! NOT YOU! You are a child of God, and the living Lord desires to live through you in this moment to cast hope into your world. Allow the grace of God to teach you in this moment how to live and love. Because the world might seem to be falling apart, but in His hands NOT YOU!

© 2025 Warren Martin. All rights Reserved.