Forgiveness is a Decision

"And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you."
— Ephesians 4:32

Aesop’s fable “The Laborer and the Snake” warns of the limits of human forgiveness. It shares the story of a Snake who builds his home near the door of the Laborer’s house. One day, the Snake bites the heel of the Laborer’s son and the boy dies. In anger and out for vengeance, the Laborer waits to ambush the Snake when he emerges from his hole. In his haste, the Laborer misses and cuts off the Snake’s tail. Then he becomes fearful that the Snake will seek vengeance and bite him. So, he begins to feed the Snake and tries to befriend him.

He finally gets the chance to ask the Snake for peace. The snake responds, “There can henceforth be no peace between us. For whenever I see you I shall remember the loss of my tail, and whenever you see me you will be thinking of the death of your son.”

The moral of the story: “No one truly forgets injuries in the presence of him who caused the injury.”

Forgiveness is hard!

True forgiveness, lasting forgiveness is not a choice. It is a decision. And yes, there is a difference. To make a choice is to select an option available. A choice can be changed. A decision is something completely different.

The word decision has the same root word as incision. Incision means to “cut into” something. Decision means to “cut away” something. In other words, when you make a decision you are cutting away all other options except the one you select. A real decision carries the idea of leaving no options on the table to change your mind later. You have cut them away from consideration.

There are times in our life where we do not need to make a choice, but we need to make a decision. Placing our faith in Christ should be a decision, not a choice. Entering into marriage should be a decision, with all other options cut away. And forgiveness must be a decision.

You will rarely feel like forgiving someone. Forgiveness is most often a decision that goes against everything you are feeling. But we are to forgive as Christ forgave us.

He did not feel like doing it. Read the accounts of him in the garden before his crucifixion. He was in agony to the point of sweating blood. But he made a decision. He forgave. He cut away our sins and removed them as far as the east is from the west. He remembers them no more. And we are forgiven not by anything we do, but by what He did. It was His decision.

We are to forgive the same. We are to make a decision and cut away all other options. We are not to leave the choice of dredging up past injuries against others. To forgive is to cut those away. Take them off the table. Not because the other party deserves it, but because we make a decision to forgive. It is not easy. As I said, forgiveness is hard.

It is too easy to make a choice to forgive and keep the injuries on the table for later. However, true freedom from injury only comes when we make a decision to forgive. It empowers us because it removes us from being a victim of someone else. We take back the power by making a decision over which they have no control.

We are to forgive as Christ forgave. We can’t truly do that without Christ. Our forgiveness rests on His finished work and is extended as we allow Him to work through us. I don’t know about you, but I certainly have some decisions that need to be made. Forgiveness is a decision.

© 2025 Warren Martin. All rights Reserved.

Confessions of a Nearsighted Man

“He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me?”

— John 21:17a

I am the master of the confession. I can utter a confession that will acknowledge my part in the scheme and acquit me at the same time. Call it what you will, but I am not alone. Nor is it anything new. We have all honed the skill of confession unto acquittal since childhood, and social media has exacerbated it.

As a child of 10 or 11 years of age, I ran with a ragtag group of ruffians. I was the youngest. My brother was the leader of the gang. We found a caliche pit in which to play. As it was an active pit, there was a dozer and front-end loader in the pit. One day we crawled up into the loader and to our amazement found a collection of “adult” magazines. Needless to say, we returned to explore this discovery several days in a row. Until we got caught.

The operator of the loader didn’t appreciate the significance of our discovery and took offense at the trespass. He drove towards us in his pickup with horn blazing. We quickly scattered and began our assent out of the pit. Unable to catch us, he pulled a gun from the gun rack in the back window of his truck and began firing over our heads. He fully intended to reform our ways for good, not to harm us.

However, rather than reform, we declared war. We returned a couple days later to add to the fuel tank all the sugar we could procure from our homes. Sugar in a diesel tank will certainly clog filters and shut down an engine. It didn’t in this case, but that was not from a lack of effort but rather a lack of supplies. And the fact that they noticed all the sugar around the tank. I’m not proud of this, and I’m even more ashamed with what happened next.

When questioned outside of school by his boss about the episode, I took the lead. I readily confessed to being in the caliche pit with my friends and climbing on the loader. I was guilty and didn’t try to hide it. However, I also spun the tale that we had been shot at and in that telling I felt the bullets were awfully close to hitting home. I didn’t think my dad would appreciate the attempt at our reform. I wasn’t sure where the sugar came from exactly, but perhaps if the operator had spent more time taking care of his equipment and less time looking a his magazines it might help. I confessed and blamed.

However, in retrospect, I didn’t really confess. Confession by definition is “saying the same thing as.” To confess to a crime, you have to admit to doing what the evidence says you actually did. If you don’t say the same thing as the evidence, then you didn’t confess. You might have admitted to doing something, but it is only a confession when what you admit agrees with the evidence.

The same is true in Christianity. To confess means to say the same thing about your sin that God says about it. There is no evading or waffling. It is not about simply admitting guilt. It is about saying the same thing as He does about sin.

Namely, it is acknowledging what you have done. Understanding why it was wrong and the destruction it brings. But it is also acknowledging and thanking God that the sin was in Christ on the cross. It was crucified with Him. Removed from the record. Forgiven! Until we are able to acknowledge all of this, we haven’t confessed.

Peter was confronted with the need for confession face to face with Jesus. After denying him three times, the resurrected Lord confronted Peter (John 21:15-17). Peter, like all of us, could only think of himself and his failure in the moment. He, like all of us, was nearsighted. Jesus asked him three times, “Do you love me?” He didn’t ask him what he did, how he felt about it, was he remorseful or did he understand the ramifications. He simply asked him, “Do you love me?”

Jesus was asking Peter for a full confession! A confession that agreed with the facts. Facts that not only included his betrayal but ended in His embrace. He was asking for a confession of love.

If we understand what true confession is meant to be, we will always end up in the arms of Christ. It doesn’t end in guilt and remorse (although those are mile markers on the road). It ends in forgiveness, grace and love. Never cut your confession short. Follow it into the arms of Christ.

There is much I have done in my life I wish I could take back. However, life doesn’t work that way. I’m left with a very simple choice: carry it the rest of my life with guilt and shame, or carry it to my Savior and lay it down at His feet. True confession always leads to God’s grace.

Anything else is just the confession of a nearsighted man who can’t see beyond himself. One who can’t let go of his own importance. One who trusts his own judgment over that of His Creator’s. 

What is it that you need to confess today? I don’t mean admit to doing, because He already knows. I mean confess — say the same thing about it that God does. To bring it to Him; acknowledge what was done, take responsibility, lay it at His feet, understand it was in Him on the cross, it was forgiven, and rest in His grace. You haven’t said the same thing as God until you realize all of it. You haven’t confessed until you rest in His grace!

© 2025 Warren Martin. All rights Reserved.

BB Guns, Haystacks and Anger

“Where do wars and fights come from among you? Do they not come from your desires for pleasure that war in your members?”
— James 4:1

“I double-dog dare you, chicken!”

That is all my brother had to say and I was in. We had gone out to Lexi’s place. He and Dad were taking care of business. My brother and I were climbing on the haystack. We found a spot where the bales of hay had been stacked loosely and there was a tunnel through the 20 foot wide stack. We discussed the possibility of crawling through the tunnel when my brother issued the challenge to me. My pride would not let me back down.

I crawled into the tunnel. The square bales were not perfectly aligned, thus the tunnel. But as I crawled through the space, it got smaller and smaller. We could see light through the other side, but my ability to judge perspective failed me. I finally came to the point where my arms were stretched far in front of me, my head barely able to move and I was stuck. I couldn’t go forward, but had gone far enough I couldn’t go back. I was trapped.

The heat inside the haystack was stifling. My heart pumped furiously as my mind raced to dreadful conclusions. In the end, I panicked. I screamed with every breath I could draw. I had crawled into my own coffin. Then, Lexi and Dad pulled me from the stack.

Lexi had a grand time making fun of me once pulled to safety. He mocked me (good heartedly, but what is that to a 8-year-old boy). He accused me of screaming like a little girl. My anger broiled and then erupted. I went to my Dad’s truck and pulled out my Daisy BB gun. I looked him in the eye, then leveled my gun at his pride and joy; his new truck.

I knew better than to shoot the metal, as that would leave a mark on it that would heal faster than the mark my Dad would leave on me. So, I aimed at his tire and threatened to shoot it out. He laughed again and said, “Go ahead. Give it your best shot.”

I squeezed the trigger and time slowed to the pulse of a snail. I could see the BB in flight. Leaving the gun and getting smaller as it traversed towards the tire. My aim was perfect. It hit the tire’s side-wall exactly where I aimed. Then, the BB began to get bigger and bigger. It bounced off the tire and retraced its track to the point of origin. It struck my right hand, my trigger hand, right between the knuckles. A couple inches higher and it would have caught me in the eye.

I ended that day with a twice wounded pride (failure of the mission with my brother and Lexi), a wounded hand and a wounded butt.

So goes my dance with pride and anger. I’ve always had a short temper. The passion I communicate on stage doesn’t turn off when I step off the stage. I am passionate about everything, or I just don’t care. There is no in between.

Another time, about the same age, my brother and I took the advantage of both my parents being gone from the house to play “Cowboys & Indians” with our unloaded BB guns. It was based on the honor system. I would call out when I believed I shot my brother and vise-verse. However, my brother always claimed that I missed. So, in furious anger, I loaded my gun with a BB and let him know my aim wasn’t as poor as he thought.

He threw his gun and ran into the bedroom to collapse on the bed. I walked into the bedroom and definitively stated I had got him. The BB had pierced his shirt and his skin to the bone right in the center of his chest. In a panic, I pulled up his shirt and popped the brass pimple to get the BB out. As it was recovered from his chest, all I saw was stars. My brother caught me with a right hook to my jaw that was by far the hardest he ever gave me.

My brother carried that scar the rest of his life. However, we suffered no parental rebuke for this as neither of us could accuse the other without issuing a confession of our own. It was years later before our parents learned of this incident.

Anger is something I have struggled with all my life. I am incredibly passionate about everything I do. This is why the verse in James 4:1 speaks so loudly to me, “Where do wars and fights come from among you? Do they not come from your desires for pleasure that war in your members?”

I believe this with all my heart; anger mostly comes from an unfulfilled desire. The Bible does not tell us to not be angry, but rather to not sin in our anger (Ephesians 4:26-27). This has been a constant challenge for me. To take those unrealized desires to my Lord. To lay them at his feet.

My challenge today is to lay all the wrongs I feel others have committed against me at the Lord’s feet. To let go of the anger I have from not having my desires fulfilled from others, and seek how He desires to fulfill those needs in my life.

Anger is like the BB I fired at Lexi’s tire, once released it always rebounds and hurts whoever pulled the trigger more than the target. I challenge you today to consider the anger you harbor towards others. Consider what is the true desire of your heart driving that anger. Then, take it to the Lord and ask Him to fulfill that desire. If we don’t, we will find ourselves in a worse trap than I found in that haystack!

© 2025 Warren Martin. All rights Reserved.

I Don't Agree With You!

"You search the Scriptures, for in them you think you have eternal life; and these are they which testify of Me. But you are not willing to come to Me that you may have life.”
— John 5:39-40

I can be a little controversial (okay, sometimes a lot) in my writings. Every time it happens, I lose people from my subscription list. I can’t tell you how many messages I have received over the years which included this line, “I don’t agree with you!” And then, for the most part, they disconnect. To those who stick around, my response is always the same, “Good! I’m okay with that…now let’s talk about it.” Those conversations are where I learn and grow the most.

I recently gave a devotion at an industry event. I sent out invitations with the title of the devotion being “God Never Called You To Be Normal!” I received a response back which I shared with the group and it was confirmed by all as valid. The response was, “…you could be an expert about not being normal.” I consider it an honor that I’m not seen as normal.

If you are doing great, have all your theology worked out and have no doubts about your faith, I thank God for that peace. However, you might find that you don’t always agree with me, because I’m not normal. I don’t always play by the rules. My thoughts are not neat and tidy and wrapped up with a bow. Sometimes they are messy.

If you are broken, struggling, have doubts, seeking for answers, lost in life, desiring to grow but just feel crazy from time to time; join the club. That is me at times. Just a simple man striving to work out His faith in Christ. After all, what good does it do for Christ to be the answer if we have no questions?

I only hope and pray that every piece I write points you to Christ as the answer.

As 1 John 2:27 states, “But the anointing which you have received from Him abides in you, and you do not need that anyone teach you; but as the same anointing teaches you concerning all things, and is true, and is not a lie, and just as it has taught you, you will abide in Him.” I’m NOT a teacher. We have a teacher in Christ. I want to challenge you to go to Him to seek, ask, grow and never settle.

Everything I write is simply what I’m being challenged with in the moment. For some reason, God has given me a passion to share my quest publicly. I have been amazingly blessed by others who have walked that road with me in various ways and it includes you in this moment.

I don’t have all the answers. I don’t have it all figured out. I’m on a quest…and I know where that quest leads. I don’t know the path it will take me down, but I know where it ends; at the feet of Jesus!

It never ceases to amaze me, when a theological disagreement begins, how quickly the conversation usually turns from one about Christ into a conversation about us. What we believe, what we do or don’t do, how well we know the Bible, how well we know history, and on and on. But it tends to be all about ourselves.

Jesus said in John 5:39-40, “You search the Scriptures, for in them you think you have eternal life; and these are they which testify of Me. But you are not willing to come to Me that you may have life.”

I have often been guilty of this snare of ego. The idea that I can understand Scripture well enough on my own to define and achieve spiritual life. That I can figure it all out. The ego of certainty.

Don’t get me wrong, I am certain about one thing—Jesus Christ. I am certain my life is in His hands. I am who He says I am. I am saved because of what He has done. I’m a child of God because He has made me so. Not because I know a few verses, but because I know Him!

If you live in an echo chamber where you only listen to what you already agree with, I believe you are on dangerous ground. At the very least, you are not being challenged to grow.

I don’t have any answers, but I know the Answer. And I pray that everything I write is never consumed as an answer in itself. Rather I’m throwing down the gauntlet in the hopes you, dear reader, will be challenged to grow. And I pray everyone is clearly focused on the goal of the quest—Jesus Christ. My path might wander from time to time, but my focus, desire and hope is Christ.

It doesn’t much matter to me if you agree with me or not. However, I care deeply about whether or not you know Jesus! He is the teacher we are seeking. And I hope we can walk this road together for a time to get to know Him even better.

So my challenge today is simple: are we only looking for affirmation of what we already believe, or are we accepting the challenge to grow in grace? May we all rise to the challenge and seek the Lord today.

© 2025 Warren Martin. All rights Reserved.

Women: All is Lost

“For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, … For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband?” — 1 Corinthians 7:14,16

Weinsberg, Germany. 1140 AD.

“All is lost,” cried Heinricus. All around them burned. Chaos in the streets.

Heinricus fell through the door of their modest home. Although a captain of the guard, this meant little in the impecunious lifestyle they led. He was injured from an arrow that found it’s way through an arrow loop in the town’s wall. It pierced his thigh and threatened death if the wound festered. He stumbled into the kitchen, which also served as the family room and all other rooms in the one room house separated by curtains. He collapsed into the arms of his wife, Agnes, and exclaimed again, “All is lost! The city is taken.”

Agness immediately tended to his wounds. She pulled the boiling water from the fire. Ripped their marriage sheets to shreds to make bandages. Provided ale for Heinricus and comforted him by the fire as the city burned all around.

Heinricus gathered himself to spell out the destined path before them. King Conrad III had besieged the city in a dispute over the papacy to quell “rebellion”. Weinsburg had held out as long as it could. All food had been consumed. Water was depleting rapidly. Even the horses had been slaughtered to provide for the people. But all was lost. The end was near and the city was destined to capitulate.

Agness listened and provided needed care. Then, the final blow; surrender. The one thing she had never considered. She was prepared to fight, suffer and die, but not surrender. Heinricus explained to her the crux of the impending doom. The city was lost. In a final resolution to the inevitable, the city had surrendered and sought terms. No man would be allowed to leave or live. Only the women would be allowed to leave with whatever they could carry on their backs.

Heinricus begged her to gather what was most valuable and leave…to live. He encouraged her to remember him fondly and to never forget the love he had for her. Agness quietly consoled him, comforted him and then left him to meet with the other women of Weinsburg.

As King Conrad III sat outside the gates of Weinsburg to receive its women before the final assault began, he congratulated himself on a battle well won. Smoke and fire. Bodies all around. All spoke to the cost of the campaign. All added to the sweet smell of the victory at hand.

The great gates of the city slowly began to open. Women appeared. As the king expected, they were burdened with as much as they could carry. He smiled again. Yet, as the women walked through the gates, Agness at the forefront, they passed through the smoke and came into view. The burdens they carried where not gold, silver or anything of value in their houses. They had strapped to their backs their husbands. The men of the city.

The king’s soldiers immediately began to organize to plow down these men. However, King Conrad III simply laughed. He ordered his soldiers to stand down. He valued his word under the terms of surrender more than the death of his enemy. He allowed the women to pass unmolested with the cargo they deemed most valuable—their men.

So goes (my artistically licensed) account of the “Siege of Weinsburg.” In fact, there is little to no corroborating evidence of the legend. However, there is always a grain of truth in every legend. In fact, Germany at this time is filled with similar stories of women saving their men in the midst of total loss.

I’ve never understood the controversy over whether or not women should hold positions in the church. Period. I’ve always been an advocate that men should be who God called them to be…because I am a man. I believe we should be exactly who God called us to be and if we don’t, then God will raise up others (even the rocks themselves) to replace our voice.

I’ve lived overwhelmed by women my whole life. Wife, sisters, daughters and granddaughters; outnumbered at every turn. Yet, I don’t understand women. Nor do I believe women should be anything less than who God called them to be either.

We men (and by this I mean ME) are easily consumed with what we are going to accomplish. We are going to win or lose! Succeed or fail! Live or die! There is nothing acceptable in between. However, the women in my life are much more concerned with life. As detailed in this legend, they are willing to sacrifice, not for conquest or duty, but for life. The life of those they love.

Paul writes in Ephesians, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the lord. …Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for her.” (Ephesians 5:22,25)

Is it not submission to carry your husband out of the clutches of death as in the legend? Or carry your husband out of the clutches of any shortcoming? And men, loving your wife as Christ loved the church is not just being willing to die for her, but for her to represent you in the world? Certainly, Christ’s love allows the church to represent Him in the world today and to speak on His behalf.

What I have been perplexed by in all of this debate is that people in the church utilize these verses to make people less. “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” (Ephesians 5:22) Why do we use this as a means to limit wives instead of challenging husbands. Stand up, man! Be who you were called to be, don’t expect someone else to be less. To limit one sex or the other, rather than seeing this as a call for all to be more is wrong. Rise up to who God called you to be.

The main concern I have is who is speaking. Honestly, I don’t want to hear from the woman, or the man. I want to hear from God. And if God is speaking, who am I to question the vehicle He chooses to speak through.

All I know is God has spoken time and again through the mouth of my wife, and she has carried me through more than one burning gate to safety. Perhaps we should all stop looking to the Bible to find the limits of what God wants to do through certain individuals and start looking for the miraculous work of the Lord in everyone! See what He desires to do through all our lives. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt it is abundantly more than we can ever ask or think. (Ephesians 3:20)

So, let’s stop limiting each other and pushing others down. Let’s reach for the abundance God has in store for each of us! It might just be that the miracle you are waiting for is being carried to safety in humility on the back of another. It also might be that God desires to work through those around you to advance life…eternal life!

© 2025 Warren Martin. All rights Reserved.

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NOTE: In writing this, my daughter accused me of being “gray” on the issue of women in leadership roles in the church. My honest answer is; I’m very gray! Not black or white. I struggle with this issue when I spend time studying it. And I’m not going to argue for any specific point of view save one: is God speaking?

I know all the verses and arguments. I have seen the theological twists from both sides around the text (which both claim to be simply “what the Bible says”). I’ve read the historical evidence. I’ve heard the antidotal evidence and seen examples of good and ill from both sides. But my conclusion is, I just don’t know! Nor do I honestly care to define a framework in which God can or cannot work!

The only thing I care about is what I told another of my daughters on this issue: “God has spoken through men, nature, floating axe heads, floating fingers on a wall, signs, wonders, etc., and even a donkey! Is a woman the one exception too far removed? I don’t think so, as there are many times God spoke and worked through women in the Bible. Women have been leaders in the Bible, even when it was considered completely impossible (Deborah for one as judge, prophetess and military leader). The question we should be asking is whether or not God is speaking and working? If He is, then we had better listen no matter what vessel He chooses to utilize!”

That is what I choose to focus on: Is God speaking to me in this moment? If so, listen and respond. I’m completely confident if we choose to seek Him in the moment, He is wise enough to guide us. And I know He is much more concerned about the condition of our heart than the anatomy of our body.

I will share only one passage in reference to this issue, Galatians 3:26-29, “For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus. For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for your are all one in Christ Jesus.” (Emphasis added)

So maybe, we should stop looking at the differences and start looking for the one thing that counts: Christ Jesus. This verse by no means answers all the questions, but it does show us what is import, and what we should be most concerned about—Jesus.